I'm seriously pissed right now. O.K. so we beat Hawai'i (like I predicted, and I want at least half the money you made off of MY predictions sent to me via e-mail.) Alright so I went 9 of 14 on Saturday for 135 yards and a TD, but if that wasn't the most Heisman 9 of 14 for 135 yards ever, I don't know what is.
So I'm pissed because after the game I was looking for Colt Brennan to make this joke. "This is the closest you'll ever get to a Heisman trophy, but it turns out he didn't travel with the team or something. A simple google search told me he was the 3rd string quarterback for the Redskins. Isn't that kind of racist? I mean Hawai'i's players' skin color was a little darker but I wouldn't say it was red, and to not travel with your third string quarterback is just dumb.
So anyways Week 1 was all about injuries. OSU's RB Chris Wells went down, so did Knowshon Moreno. I was a little nervous after my performance on Saturday that I demanded coach Urban Meyer get me an X-Ray. He was all like "No Tim, you're fine." And I responded by kicking him in the balls and reminding him that I now go by "Mr. Florida Football." I told coach that I felt like my ego was bruised and he finally let me get my X-Ray, but the doctors and I were unsure of where the ego was in the body... So I had them take a full body scan.
In other news Percival is supposed to return next Saturday night when we play Miami. Which is great news for me because I finally have SOMEBODY to help me on Offense. I mean how do we score 56 points and I only account for 7? I'm a GOSHDARN HEISMAN TROPHY WINNER.
Now some SEC schools have posted some pictures that don't fit my media image. Like this one above so let me explain it. So I took several of my teammates including Orange (I don't know my teammates names, I just know what color shirts they wear.) to a local church Easter service. And Orange and I got accidentally seperated from the group (we couldn't find Stripes or Black anywhere!) Well Orange says he's hungry so we bounce (after giving props to my homeboy Jesus) to grab a chocolate bar, because orange loves him so chocolate... or was that Blue and Grey? It doesn't matter Blue and Grey is a fat lard he loves any food. But Orange drops a little chocolate on his face about 4 inches away from his mouth. He turns to me and politely asks if I have any napkins. I say "no but I can scrub it off with my hands if you like" Well Orange doesn't like to be touched by hands so I said I could lick it off if that would make him more comfortable, he said "Sure Tim, I mean Mr. Florida Football. I'd love that." So I licked it off. No big deal right?
No comments:
Post a Comment