Sunday Night Quarterback 1

Guys,

I'm seriously pissed right now. O.K. so we beat Hawai'i (like I predicted, and I want at least half the money you made off of MY predictions sent to me via e-mail.) Alright so I went 9 of 14 on Saturday for 135 yards and a TD, but if that wasn't the most Heisman 9 of 14 for 135 yards ever, I don't know what is.

So I'm pissed because after the game I was looking for Colt Brennan to make this joke. "This is the closest you'll ever get to a Heisman trophy, but it turns out he didn't travel with the team or something. A simple google search told me he was the 3rd string quarterback for the Redskins. Isn't that kind of racist? I mean Hawai'i's players' skin color was a little darker but I wouldn't say it was red, and to not travel with your third string quarterback is just dumb.

So anyways Week 1 was all about injuries. OSU's RB Chris Wells went down, so did Knowshon Moreno. I was a little nervous after my performance on Saturday that I demanded coach Urban Meyer get me an X-Ray. He was all like "No Tim, you're fine." And I responded by kicking him in the balls and reminding him that I now go by "Mr. Florida Football." I told coach that I felt like my ego was bruised and he finally let me get my X-Ray, but the doctors and I were unsure of where the ego was in the body... So I had them take a full body scan.

In other news Percival is supposed to return next Saturday night when we play Miami. Which is great news for me because I finally have SOMEBODY to help me on Offense. I mean how do we score 56 points and I only account for 7? I'm a GOSHDARN HEISMAN TROPHY WINNER.


Now some SEC schools have posted some pictures that don't fit my media image. Like this one above so let me explain it. So I took several of my teammates including Orange (I don't know my teammates names, I just know what color shirts they wear.) to a local church Easter service. And Orange and I got accidentally seperated from the group (we couldn't find Stripes or Black anywhere!) Well Orange says he's hungry so we bounce (after giving props to my homeboy Jesus) to grab a chocolate bar, because orange loves him so chocolate... or was that Blue and Grey? It doesn't matter Blue and Grey is a fat lard he loves any food. But Orange drops a little chocolate on his face about 4 inches away from his mouth. He turns to me and politely asks if I have any napkins. I say "no but I can scrub it off with my hands if you like" Well Orange doesn't like to be touched by hands so I said I could lick it off if that would make him more comfortable, he said "Sure Tim, I mean Mr. Florida Football. I'd love that." So I licked it off. No big deal right?

Welcome!

Hey Guys,

Timmy here, but you can call me Tim... actually call me Mr. Tebow... I mean you can call me Mr. Florida Football. Yeah, I like that. So I just got done my last practice before the 2008 season begins on Saturday versus Hawai'i. Coach let me go home 15 minutes early because there were some babies lined up outside that needed to be circumsized.
What can I say? I do it all. So how about I start off telling you about myself and then you can tell me about yourself (especially if your a hot girl aged 18-35. No fatties please! LOL'z)
I was born on August 14th, 1987. And the way my mama always told it, I had a football in my hand 6 seconds after I was born, I tried to sneak out past the nurses to score a Touchdown, but they had a QB spy on. 18 years later, I committed to The Florida University or something like that.. not that it really matters because I committed to God while I was in the womb.
So that sums me up, how about you? What's your name? Where do you go to school? What's your breasts' size?.... I mean shoot, how do I erase that?

So what I figure I'll do each week is give you guys a breakdown of my life, and how I view college football, so here is the first of a weekly Tim Tebow Pick's The Winners, and Trust me, guys I'm good.


DISCLAIMER: Tim Tebow will NOT tolerate gamblers. Little known fact the 11th Commandment would have been Thou shalt not gamble and in fact it would have been had Moses had the strength of yours truly. There were ten other Commandments that Moses couldn't carry down, but I'll get to those later.

Georgia Southern @ Georgia: Simple SEC > Some piece of poop other conference team. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

PICK: UGA

Youngstown State @ Ohio State: When did Youngstown become a state? Last I checked we still had 50, but if Youngstown is south of Kentucky, I'm picking them.

PICK: (It's not according to my Geography teacher) Ohio State.

Missouri vs. Illinois: Juice Williams is a poor man's Tim Tebow, but he is still 95 cents short.

PICK: Missouri

Alabama @ Clemson: SEC is at it again!

PICK: Alabama

and finally...

Hawai'i @ Florida: I'm not gonna lie, Hawai'i has a chance, actually I did lie. They're terrible.

PICK: Florida.

That's it for this week remember to leave your name, school and breasts' size... darnet I wish I could erase these things.